Day +4 is a day of morphine. I've graduated from oxycodone to morphine, although I'm not yet so bad off that a pump is required. At this point, if I feel like I need it, I ask for it and they bring it to me. I'm getting IV vitamins (although not the TPI, or bag-o-fat that they give when you've gone for a long time without eating.) I'm also getting IV antibiotics, as I can no longer get the pills down. The doc says that my pain is the result of losing my stomach lining, which brings to mind one of those scenes on "House" where they show all hell breaking loose inside some unsuspecting person's body.
I mentioned yesterday that I am getting comfort from a song called, "Time to Let You Go," by The Funky Lowlives. This song has become my personal transplant anthem, feeding me calm, strength, beauty and hope. I was flabbergasted and completely thrilled to find when I signed on today that the artist who wrote the song, Jon Whitehouse, had commented on my blog with well-wishes!! Further, he wrote this beautiful song 3 years ago upon losing his father to cancer. Isn't that incredible? What gifts we get in this life, and how amazing our human contact. Thank you, Jon, for both your kindness and the gift of this important song. It has carried -- STILL carries -- me through the toughest moments of this transplant.
About Me
- Sarah
- I'm a 43 year old, happily partnered lesbo. I was raised in downtown NYC in a commune, and the woman who raised me was the real Auntie Mame. I've lived also in Italy, India, and Ireland. By the time I was 10, I'd already lived with over 4,000 people. When I was 2 1/2, I drank oven cleaner. I didn't know I was gay until I was 26. My partner of over 9 years is one of the finest people I've ever known. She's from Brooklyn. I was treated for Stage IIIB Hodgkins Lymphoma, subtype Mixed Cellularity. First I did 6 months of ABVD chemo, and that secured a 14-month remission. My relapse was caught early and I went right into a stem cell transplant. The cancer had already returned when I had my 3-month post-transplant scans. There's no cure available to me at present, so I'm now entering a period of palliative care. We're hoping a Gemzar/Navelbine chemo combination will keep my cancer at bay for as long as 4 years -- that's the prayer. In the meantime, I am focused on savoring every moment....and maybe even losing a coupla pounds!
10 comments:
Sarah
My love and thoughts are with you.
I went out today for my friend Seb's birthday.
He is the guy who played most of the guitar for the recording of TTLYG, and I spoke of your blog.
And, as am I, he was very moved that it has been a help 2 u in such a tough time.
Tiz a crazy thing, the net, 2 connect people.
Am thinking of you.
Luv
Jon
xxx
Sending tons of healing wishes directly to the GI track and marrow. May engraftment be quick!!
That is just too cool for words that Jon Whitehouse has found your blog and is cheering you on!
I bet it makes him feel good to know he has helped others through his music. That is the BEST!
(((HUGS))),
Judy
We're pulling for you Sarah! GOOOOOOOOOO SARAH!!!!
God Bless,
Anne
Hang in there Sarah!! I know it must be tough since there is no daily update from you.
(((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))).
The worst is amost over. Its always darkest before the dawn.
Dawn is coming. The sunlight is peaking over the horizon.
Hang in there. You have so many admirers here. We love you. GO, GIRL GO!! I bet it doesn't feel like you are winning, but you ARE!!! The hodge is DEAD and gone!!!
(((HUGS))) and prayers,
Judy
Sarah - Always thinking of you. I hope you doing okay although I know this must be the realy hard part. Enjoy that morphine while you are allowed to!!!
Love and hugs to you and Lorraine (and Louie too!!)
Tianna
Hey Sarah....
I am checking your blog & wondering how you are doing .....haven't heard from you since Sunday.....
of course, I am worried that everything is OK??
Don't feel like you have to write alot, as I know that takes energy....just a few words to update us. I can imagine you are into the really tough days now & I hope the drugs are making you comfortable. I hope you have things to distract you....
Keep up that wonderful spirit of yours!!
With lots of love, Angie
Hello dearest sweet Sarah!
Oh goodness, I remember those IV days way too well to not feel any pain when I read your blog. Girl, I wish you speedy recovery so you can swallow and talk and feel a little better every day. I am thinking of you daily, knowing for a fact that each day from here on will be a better one! Bear hugs :)
Thinking of you, Sarah, and counting the days until you can be home with Lorraine and Louie and the gang.
Hang in there, Sarah. We miss you on the Hodge board, but are all hoping you are feeling just a little bit better with each passing day. Can't wait to hear from you again!!
Skye
Sarah,
I'm thinking about you and hoping whatever tough stuff you may be going through passes quickly. Can't wait to see you well enough to type again!
Pine Soul (Nancy)
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