Saturday, October 22
Hello, helloooo! Well it's certainly been a while. I don't even really know where to begin. It feels awkward giving an update after almost three months of silence. Particularly since this was a place I once came daily to share my life and progress moving through it.
I've been working hard at work - it's requiring considerably more effort than it did pre-chemo. I guess that's normal. My oncologist told me to expect energy to be an issue for a year. I did just get a 6.25% raise, so that helps!
Lorraine's doing much better. I'm not sure if I talked about it here, but less than two weeks after my last treatment, she was hospitalized for some serious heart problems that it turns out resulted from Lyme Disease. So we went straight from one health crisis right into another. She went through a couple of antibiotic regimens - the latter given intravenously, through a PICC line. She really does seem to be doing much better now, I'm relieved to say. It was very, very hard there for a while, as we were each at an all-time low simultaneously.
I think my chemo-induced, premature menopause might just be gone -- wonderful news indeed! I've only gotten two periods since chemo ended in June, but it does seem encouraging. I really would like to reap the benefits of an increased metabolism and ability to increase my bone density. If the menopause leaves the building, I should have at least another decade to enjoy these before going through it all over again. Not fun!
Speaking of hot flashes, rage and tears - I'm stuck in a weight loss motivational rut. I'm thrilled to say that I've just begun working out on our brand spanking new elliptical -- Lorraine just put it together less than a week ago. Man, that thing's an ass-kicker! I can go on the exercise bike for an hour, but the elliptical for a scant five minutes! I intend to increase my time incrementally every day, though. As you can see from the pic above, we got one with the flywheel in the front, which research reported was superior. It's a New Balance 9.5, a great machine, really - it's got smooth movement, a stride of 18" (adequate for each of us,) it's absolutely silent, it's got I think 10 programmed workouts and room for several more user-designed programs, steel construction and overall great quality. I'm pleased! We're making I think $99 payments monthly, interest free. Not bad! The downside is that it's enormous....and I've insisted on keeping it in our small office/guest bedroom, so it's handy for daily use. Oh well, the next house will be bigger.
In other news, I'm holding at I think 231 pounds. Yep, it pretty much sucks. I haven't been eating on plan 100% of the time, and I haven't been exercising regularly. I could tell you that my 11-hour workdays (work plus commute) just take it out of me, and that would be the truth, but not the whole truth. I just don't have that drive like I did. I want it, don't get me wrong....but I seem to have misplaced my mojo.
That said, I know motivation isn't something you just happen upon -- nor is it the thing that's going to get you sustained weight loss. It's really more a question of consistent behaviors, thoughtfully chosen. I didn't lose 80 pounds last year because I was motivated -- I lost because I was committed. It does require a bit of energy to sustain that commitment, and it is in that area that I remain challenged. I eat a healthy, on-plan breakfast and lunch every weekday (I prepare healthy lunches every day to take to work,) and I eat a healthy dinner most nights (I could go smaller on the portions at dinner maybe 25% of the time.) My commitment wanes a bit on the weekends, but it's still not a free-for-all. I'm not gaining, so that's good, but I certainly am not losing either -- obviously because I haven't been exercising.
I know what to do. I've done it before. It's just a matter of getting back into my old routine. I may not have the stamina now to sustain my old exercise routine while working, but the more I do, the more I'll be able to do.
Hopefully coming back here will help me get back into my old groove.
On the cancer front, I see my oncologist this coming Friday. I'm getting a blood test beforehand and she'll review those results and check me physically this time around. It's supposed to be in January that I get another PET, but I'm going to ask her to let me have it in December so I don't have to pay my 20% share of the scan's $5,000 cost. (I've already met my out-of-pocket for this year.) I'll still have two more PETs next year, in addition to all the other medical expenses I'll surely incur.
I am going to make a point of visiting your blogs, dear gentle readers. I've missed you and look forward to catching up and reading your words.